How many birth days does the average man have?
1 Just one!
Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
12, all of them! - Even January has 28 days!
Can a California man legally marry his widow's sister?
No - Because he is dead! There is no legal precedence for a dead man to marry! Remember, we are asking if a man CAN marry, not if a man was legally married.
Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
70 - Now pay close attention, or your math teacher will be upset with you: 30 divided by 2 equals 15, 30 divided by 1/2 equals 60 (did you forget about inverting and multiplying?), add 10 and get 70! If you still think 30 divided by 1/2 is 25, then what does 30 divided by 2 equal??
If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
2 - You took them, remember? You are in a store, if there are three apples and you take away 2, you will get busted for shoplifting!
A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half
How many minutes would the pills last?
60. - Start with the 1st pill, 30 minutes later take the 2nd, then 30 minutes for the 3rd. The effects of the pills will last for 90 minutes, but in 60 minutes, the pills are gone! It is like ice cream. It can stay in your refrigerator for years, but would you eat 8 year old ice cream? If it takes you 15 minutes to eat the ice cream, the ice cream lasts 15 minutes, but I am sure there are some of you who would argue that it would last 16 minutes, just to get this question right!
A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down
and die. How many sheep are left standing?
9 - If 8 out of 17 die, all but 9 die...(which means 8 die, get it?) Keeping the dead sheep doesn't count!
How many members of each animal did Moses take on the ark?
0 - Moses didn't take any animals on an ark, Noah did!
A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10'' tall. What does he weigh?
meat - A butcher's clerk weighs meat, how else does he know what to charge?! (The butcher only cuts it, eh?) Remember the instructions? MOST, (not all), answers are numeric, this one isn't.
How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
12 There are 12 2-cent stamps in a dozen! - You know, a dozen is 12!